Last Post

This is Suzanne, Amanda's friend, writing on her behalf.
Amanda suffered a stroke late last week. She passed away on April 24, 2010.
There was a beautiful article written in the local paper. You can find it here.
Amanda's closest friends and I know that some of you are loyal followers and know that she posts pretty regularly. We knew that you would want to know what happened and help in any way you could.
You can go here and read her life story. Along with her life story, you will find a memory page, guest book, and contributions page. There you will find how to contribute to Patrick's future education fund.
Thank you for following Amanda's road to motherhood. I know that she found some comfort in sharing in others' long & difficult journeys.
Please pray for Amanda's family in the coming weeks & months.

There's a lot going on...

The last few weeks have been a bit of a blur....so here's the story in a nutshell.

I have been having some digestive issues since December.  I finally decided to get it checked out since it wasn't getting better or going away. After an appointment with my internist and a referral to a GI doc I finally had a colonoscopy (YUCK!!) and it was determined I have crohn's disease.  Not too happy with this diagnosis although it could be worse.  So they put me on some medication and told me to come back in 30 days. Apparently this is a common protocol for this issue, but it seems odd to me to put someone on medication and not see them for 30 days.  Anyway, I get the drugs and read through the paperwork from the pharmacy.  One says absolutely do not breastfeed while taking this medication and the other says there have been no tests done so probably not a good idea to BF while taking this med.  So I call the GI doc and the nurse tells me that there are no other options and I have to make the decision to either quit breastfeeding or not take the meds.  But that I need the meds if I want to get better.  So I call my internist.  Get the same info.  Call my brother who's 2 months away from being an MD.  Get the same info.  So after several days of serious discussions with my husband and some soul searching, we have decided that our time with breastfeeding is over.  I can't put this off any longer. I need to start feeling better so I can be a better mom.  So this week we are working on weaning to formula.  Patrick already gets a bottle of pumped milk and apparently that is half the battle.  So for right now we're only nursing once a day and he's getting 3/4 bm to 1/4 formula for every other bottle.  I'm still pumping in the morning and night but have cut out 2 feedings.  I figure in another day or so I will quit the nursing session and then slowly cut out the pumping.  I may be uncomfortable for a day or so, but I hope to be completely done this weekend so I can start my treatment.  It sounds like a horrible treatment but at least it's only for 30 days.  And from what I read I should start to feel better in 3-5 days.

This has been a very rough transition for me.  I didn't think I cared that much about breastfeeding.  I just did it because that's what I thought I was supposed to do.  I didn't have an aversion to formula feeding or a love for breastfeeding.  But I have come to enjoy bf-ing and like that time with my baby.  There have been a lot of tears over the last few weeks, but I have to keep reminding myself that I'm doing the right thing.  I need to take care of myself if I want to take care of my baby.  I think my biggest battle is other people.  Everyone seems to think I'm being silly about all this.  That it's not that big of deal.  While I understand that many babies are formula fed, that is not my issue.  I am not worried he will be malnurished or not get what he needs.  I just know I will miss the time I have with him.  And of course with all our previous issues getting pregnant I think about our future children.  Will we have any?  Maybe I won't be able to BF for some other reason.  I can't imagine there is that much time to devote to it with another little one running around.  So essentially I'm just not ready to give this up just yet. But I'm sure in a week or two it will all be second nature and we'll be all back to normal.  One can hope:-)

Happy Birthday

to me:-) The big 3-0 this year!  I just know it's going to be a great one!  Can't wait to spend it with my boys!

Finally 7 months

The last month flew by.  All of a sudden we're at the end of March, Dean's back at work and spring is right around the corner!  And Patrick is growing and learning everyday.  Here's what we're up to now!

~ Sitting up!  It has taken some practice but he's finally able to sit up on his own for short periods of time.  He does better when he has a toy or something to focus on.

~ He still loves standing up. He's even learning that if he pulls up on our hands he can go from laying to sitting to standing.

~ He has milk 5 times a day.  It varies based on what time he gets up but he has 2-3 bottles (5-6 oz) and then nurses the other 2-3 times.

~ We're starting to do solids/purees 3 times a day.  He still isn't interested in finger foods. Maybe in a few weeks.

~ He's finally into some of his 6 month sized clohes.  And I think ALL the 3 month sizes are too small.

~ Still only has 2 teeth

~ Loves reading, singing and watching us dance around for him.  He loves to laugh and smile. Usually only fusses when he's tired or when he wants attention.

His little personality is starting to shine through.  He's been going to work with Dean in the mornings and then I pick him up at noon.  So that gives us a few more opportunities to get out and do some things. He loves all the activity.  Loves looking at all the people, smiling and flirting with all the old ladies!  So cute.  Since it has all been going pretty well I decided that we should go shopping yesterday.  It had been a rough week so I thought a little retail therapy would be good.  My mom and I went to lunch, which went fine.  Shopping however not so much.  First there were no carts.  So I was carrying him which resulted in a leaking diaper. All over him and all over me.  So we went back to the car and I changed him. I decided it was best if I just gave up and we waited in the car for my mom. He fell asleep and actually took a good nap.  I was disappointed but I think this just teaches me that I need to go out more often so I can get better at it. Every time is a learning experience. So hopefully at some point I won't be so nervous taking him out!

Naptime is probably almost over so I'd better get busy doing a few things.  Both Patrick and I aren't feeling well today so it may not be that productive of a day. Oh well...hopefully this week we'll get everything done because we're having a surprise party for my mom on Saturday...wish me luck!  I'm nervous about it and not sure if I'll get it all done!!!

The week from hell and 7 months

Updates soon I promise! 
Until then....my happy boy!

The devil

Day light saving time that is...ugh this week has been awful.  I'm exhausted, despite getting a full night sleep every night) and Patrick has decided that his bedtime routine is no longer what he wants.  It takes so much longer to get him to sleep and to stay asleep.  I don't know if it's because it's light out now at bedtime? Or if it's because of the time? He is back to sleeping later so he's not melting down at 6:30 like he was. So we're letting him/keeping him up later (by later I mean all of 30 minutes or so).  He's still in bed by 7:30.  But tonight it took 20 minutes to get him to sleep...what used to take all of 5.  Just frustrating.  And the sleeping in?  Great right?  Except that I just know that he'll be up super early on Saturday when I want to sleep in...oh well. 

And in other news....we have our 1st case of the missing toy.  And I can't even blame Patrick because he can't move them anywhere yet!  I don't even really care about the toy, but somehow it crossed my mind and now it's driving me CRAZY!  Oh well...I'm on the search for some new toys anyway.  I think he's bored with the ones we have.  I got one today at Target, but I'm not in love with it.  I will keep looking for a few other things here and there.  I'm sure it won't be long and he'll have out grown these little teether/rattle toys anyway. 

Ok, let the evening begin. Thank gosh it's Friday tomorrow!!!

Today I cried

I cried for me, for my baby, for everything and nothing all in one.  

I heard back from the daycare.  The short story is that we aren't going to be able to do 'part time' daycare.  They only consider 8-12 part time.  We just need more than that.  So for 5 days a week at the full time rate I will be taking home about $20/pay period.  Not even enough to fill my gas tank.  So I will be working for health care. Which I realize is a lot, but it doesn't buy food for my table.

I cried for my baby.  I don't want him to feel like I'm leaving him with some stranger.  I don't want him to get sick. I just don't want to do this.

I cried for me.  I don't want to have to be worried about my baby all day while I'm at work.  I don't want to have to feel like I'm working for nothing.

I already feel like I'm not a good enough mother, wife, friend, employee, daughter.  I feel like I give everything I can to Patrick but after that there isn't enough left for the rest.  I'm tired at night so we sit in front of the tv or news paper and hardly talk much less anything else. I don't feel like talking on the phone. I haven't talked to good friends in weeks and owe several people a phone call back.  I do my job but feel like I need to be spending more time there.  And I know my mom needs help but I just haven't offered up my help like I used to.

So there you have it. Today I cried.

Cranky baby syndrome

That is what was going on around here this weekend.  Patrick wanted no one but mommy.  If I was in sight but not holding him, he was crying.  Sometimes even if I was holding him he was crying.  I made sure he was fed, warm, changed and he was still not happy.  I checked his head for fever, checked his mouth for teeth and all was fine.  I think he was just crabby.  Poor little boy.  Hopefully tomorrow is better for him!

6 month well baby visit

I swear I'm going to get better at posting, but when Patrick only sleeps for 30 minutes at a time...I run out of computer time. And to be quite honest I'm too tired at night to care! 

Anyway, while he's still happy in there...the stat were good at the doctor.  He weighs 13 lbs, 10 oz (3rd %), is 25 inches long (10th%) and head circumfrence is 17.5" (75%). So he's still on the small side but he's growing on his own curve so the doc isn't concerned.  He gave us a few things to look for/work towards for the 9 month appointment.  He wants to see him starting to eat finger foods, sitting up unassisted and pulling himself up to standing by then.  All of which I think he will do fine. 

Ok. Naptimes over.  I would promise more updates later...but we all know how that will go:-)

6 Months Old

 So I'm a little late on this one....but the little guy is 6 months old. We are heading to his 6 month appt. tomorrow.  Here's the latest...
~ Sleep - still going well.  He naps 2-3 times a day for about 30 minutes each.  He's even been napping in his crib which is a step in the right direction.  Nightime sleep continues to go well.  He's even been going down a little earlier than normal.  And about 2 weeks ago started waking up between 6 and 6:30 instead of 8 or 8:30 (hence the 3 naps a day!)  But he wakes up happy so that's about all we can ask for.  Last Saturday he laid in his crib playing and singing for an hour!  No crying, no fussing, just playing. 
~ Eating - He's nursing/gets a bottle about 5 times a day. And gets a stage 2 fruit in the morning and veggie in the afternoon.  He still loves all the food we've tried so far.  Since he's been waking up earlier in the morning I haven't been pumping which has made it difficult to get much to freeze. I'm worried my supply is starting to drop but hopefully it's just a little bump. I will keep up with the water and try to eat a little better in hopes it can keep up.  He's still only getting around 6 oz in each bottle but he seems ok with that.  I plan on asking the doctor tomorrow what his recommendations are for increasing solids and moving onto finger foods.
~ Play - Patrick loves to play with his toys.  He would prefer if we were playing with him though.  He's finally decided he likes his exersaucer (for a limited amount of time). He can move it around and play with all the toys.  He still likes his playmat.  And he's has figured out he can pick up something that he wants.  He will stare at a toy so intensly until we bring him to it so he can pick it up.
Other noteworthy things ~
~ He loves to stand up. 
~ He is learning to sit up unassisted. He doesn't quite have it yet, but we're getting there
~ He's getting really good at grabbing at things (toys, glasses, hair, etc)
~ We went out to dinner the other night and he did great.  He isn't too happy to be left in his carseat anymore, so that makes for an interesting meal. But he was happy and did really well
~ He came to work with me yesterday for a while. Not something I would want to do on a regular basis, but it went ok.
~ The drool is back!  If the past is any indication, there may be some more teeth coming soon!
~ He is starting to develop some mommy separation anxiety. And as much as I think this is so sweet, it's also heartbreaking.  Now that he's awake when I leave for work, it makes it really hard when he's crying!!  But it's so sweet when I come home and he reaches for me! 

That's about all for the 6 month update.  I'm sure there is more but for right now that's all I can remember.  I'll try to update tomorrow after the appointment. Here's hoping for some good weight gain (we think there will be, we've been tracking it at home), easy shots and a happy baby! 

The touch of a baby

There is nothing sweeter than the touch of a baby. Patrick has discovered our faces.  He loves to pat our noses, put his fingers on our lips and of course grab at glasses and hair.  He is learning with every touch, pull and grab.  Usually I set him straight.  Pull his hand away and say no pulling, no grabbing, no glasses.  But at night it's a different kind of touch.  We have our night time bottle, get ready for bed and say our good nights the same way everynight.  We head upstairs, turn off the light and sit in the rocking chair and cuddle up.  He cuddles his face into the crook of my arm and reaches up and lays his hand on my cheek almost as to say good night, I love you mom.  It brings tears to my eyes as he pulls his sweet hand back to his body, closes his eyes and drifts off to sleep.  I love my boy.  More than words can express. 

Baby's Schedule

Since August everyone asks about the baby's schedule.  How does he eat?  Is he sleeping?  A lot?  In his own room?  Does he roll, have teeth, etc. etc.  And of course we answer these questions smiling from ear to ear, as any proud new parents would.  And as soon as the words are out of our mouth, we hear "that's great, as soon as you get a schedule he'll change it on you"....what?  Why do people insist on taking away your good news by telling you it won't last?  And for the last 6 months we've just had a few weeks of waking up in the middle of the night, or issues eating but for the most part Patrick put himself on a schedule and he stuck to it.  Until now...he's decided that an acceptable time to wake up is 6 am.  Not the usually 8 or 8:30.  I don't mind during the week. I have to get up to pump and get ready for work anyway, but on the weekend???  Um, no thanks. I'll take 8am any day! So I guess all those peeps were right...his schedule finally changed!  Now the question is will it change back??

Snap out of it

That is exactly what I need to do. I've been in a craptasic mood all week.  I am still getting over this cold, which isn't making me feel much better.  I feel like my schedule right now sucks.  I have all this time but yet I feel like I am always rushing.  And I keep thinking in another couple of weeks it will be different, in a another couple of months it will be different...but I've been saying that since August. And yes, things change over the weeks and months but now it's time for ME to change.  It might take a while, but this is my first step.  Admitting it.  Now it's time to work on the plan....just not sure what that plan should be yet.  But I know that to be the best mother I can be, I need to do something!!

Illness, teeth and the last week

I have been wanting to update....but many things have kept me from it. 
First, illness.  Daddy came home with a cold from Orlando. I was diligent about washing hands, keeping everything clean, etc.etc., and of course just when I thought we were out of the woods...boom.  I get sick.  At first I thought it was just a cough, but it turned into a full blown cold.  Awful!  I wasn't sick the entire time I was pregnant with Patrick so I think I had it coming. I'm still stuffed up and coughing but I feel much better.  And despite all our efforts, Patrick is coughing and a little stuffy too. I'm hoping it doesn't develop into much more than that!
Teeth...we have 2!  Two cute little bottom teeth poking through.  They didn't seem to bother him much.  But on top of the cold, he was extra cuddly.  Any mommy loves that!  He's so cute. He throws his arms around us like he's giving a big bear hug. I know he doesn't really know what he's doing, but it's the sweetest thing in the world!  Being sick and having sore gums are no fun, but I'll take the extra cuddles anyday! 
So here we are at the start of a new week.  Looking down the barrel at March, and as everyone keeps reminding me, golf season.  And golf season means daddy goes back to work and Patrick goes to daycare.  I was ok going back to work when I knew he would be at home. But for some reason this is hitting me harder than I thought.  I think part of it is trying to figure out the logistics.  Dean doesn't have a set schedule.  So we need to decide if we are going to have me take him and pick him up everyday?  Which leaves no time for me to do anything before/after work (gym, grocery store, lunch etc) or to try to figure out if Dean can take him and I pick him up later.  Or just how it might work.  He keeps talking about sending him to daycare but everytime I bring it up to talk about how we're going to do it, he won't talk.  It's frustrating.  I don't know if I'm just supposed to figure it out on my own?  Or if he thinks that miraculously one of us is going to be able to stay home or what.  But it's frustrating.  Maybe I'll try the discussion again this week. 
I can see I need to update more...I feel bad having all this stuff in one post, but just one more thing...prayers.  I need some prayers for a few good friends going through a rough spot.  Two medical situations, one husband leaving for a year and a job issue.  I don't really feel it's my place to go into these in detail, but if you have any extra prayers...I know a few people who could use them right now.  I know my list is getting longer and those prayers are being said everyday! 

Teeth??

Yep that's right....1 pearly white tooth breaking through his soft pink gums.  Doesn't that sound awful?  No wonder he's been a little clingy and fussy.  Baby Tylenol did wonders last night and his slight fever is gone today.  So with one poking through, I'm sure there are more to follow. I can actually see the one right next to it, so it won't be long now!

P.S. Where's my spell check?  I am an educated girl...but I need spell check! haha!

Weight check

We had a quick appointment on Thursday to check Patricks weight....and I'm happy to report he's up to 12 pounds 12 ounces! YAY!!! He gained almost a pound. The doctor was happy with that weight and said to keep doing what we're doing. He checked out a few more things and Patrick wowed him with his rolling ability and then we were on our way. It's such a relief to leave the doctor's office feeling like we're doing something right. I love our doctor! He always makes us feel like we're doing right by our boy! We go back in another month for his 6 month appointment. At which the doctor said he'll probably have teeth because (and I quote) he's a 'drool bucket'! haha!! I failed to mention he's been drooling like that for months! I guess we'll see. So that's the latest with the boy!

Cancer sucks

Things with my mom's chemo were going ok. She had some growth on her last scans, but not enough to be too concerned about. The treatment is going ok, same laundry list of side effects, but she tolerates it ok. The drive to Detroit every 3rd week is getting tiresome for both of them. But the drug seemed to be working. Seemed to be doing what it is supposed to be doing. Thursday at her appointment, she was kicked off her study. Apparently the drug company didn't agree with how they read the report. And after several phone calls, re-reads, and discussions with the lead doctor on the study, they are not willing to jeopardize the study results and leave her on it. CRAP. So now it's back to square one. She will do a few treatments here with her old cancer center and wait for another study to open up. They are pretty certain she will qualify for one with no problem. My mom takes everything so well. Just keeps on truckin' and never lets on that this is a big deal....but this is a BIG deal. What if she doesn't qualify for a new study? What if there's nothing new out there for her to try? The old treatment wasn't as effective as it was when she started it. There are other drugs out there but they make her incredibly sick. Needless to say the last 15 months have been a blessing. It was great she was accepted to the study. Great they kept the growth at bay for so long. Great that the side effects weren't that bad. We all knew this was coming eventually, but were hoping it would last a little longer. So for now we wait. Wait for something new. Something better. And hope in the meantime she can continue to do as well as she has in the last 15 months!

Single parenting

It's not what I thought it would be like. It's easier at the times I thought it would be the hardest. It's hardest at times I am not expecting it to be. Needless to say, I don't think I'm cut out for it and I can't wait until Tuesday! Patrick has been so good this weekend. He got himself overtired yesterday and had a meltdown before bed. But as soon as bedtime rolled around he went right to sleep. And he's been getting up an hour earlier than normal (which is still 7:30 so not too early) but I'm not sure why. But he wakes up happy and that's all I can ask for. We've kept ourselves busy but being in this big empty house all night is lonely! We're headed to my parents today for a while this afternoon. Hopefully that will break up the day. And I have to go to work tomorrow. I guess I'd better get busy doing housework. Apparently when I'm the only one here I don't feel the need to clean as much...so this house needs it!!!

The future

As I was putting Patrick to bed tonight, looking down at his sweet, sleeping face, I couldn't help but think about the future. What will bedtime be like this summer? In a year? Two years? I just can't picture us with a toddler. I can't picture Patrick walking, talking and growing up....why is that? Is that normal? And honestly our days blur together. They are over as quick as they start it seems so I don't have much time to think about all this. But tonight I'm a single parent. Daddy is in Orlando and I have the house and evening to myself and apparently this is where my thoughts are going. I love my sweet baby and that love grows everyday...and I know that means he is growing with it.

Couple more things...

A few things I forgot yesterday....

~ A new favorite pastime is standing up. He loves to hold our hands and stand up. He likes to look around and watch what's going on.



~ He loves to watch the cats. It's like he just started noticing they are around. They usually hide out during the day when he's awake.



~ He is learning to take toys from us. He focuses really hard on it and then snatches it up and puts it right in his mouth. Even if he's crying!



~ He has learned a little separation anxiety. He totally knows when we leave the room!!

Ok I think that's about all...again:-) I think of all these things I want to remember but don't get around to posting them. I guess some things take priority and this isn't always one of them!

22 weeks old - 5 month update

I really can't believe it's been 22 weeks since birthed our sweet boy. Really? 22 weeks? Crazy!

Latest updates:
~ Food - still loves it. We've had peas, sweet potatoes, bananas, applesauce and peaches. So far all are a hit except the peas. They take a little work! We're trying squash this week. Hopefully it goes well.

~ Sleep - still going well. He naps 2-3 times a day (usually 2) for 30-45 minutes each. Although yesterday he shocked me and slept for 2 hours in the afternoon! He's pretty good about going to sleep around 7:30 and sleeping til 8 or 8:30 in the morning.

~ Nursing - going well. He has 1 or 2 bottles while I'm at work and then nurses 3-4 times before bed. So far I haven't had any issues with my supply. The only time I notice anything out of the ordinary is if I haven't had enough water to drink! So I'm working on keeping that up!

~ Schedule - still about the same. I have hopes it will stay this way for a while.

~ Weight - from what we can tell he hasn't really gained since his 4 month appointment. We have a follow up next week. I don't know what they'll do if he doesn't gain much or any weight. He eats fine, doesn't spit up that much and doesn't seem to have any diaper issues (i.e. diarrhea or the like). He seems like a healthy baby to us, so I'm hoping they'll just keep an eye on it.

In other comings and goings around our house, Daddy is headed to the PGA show in Orlando tomorrow. My first time at single parenthood. I took Friday off work, having lunch with a friend on Saturday and probably spending some time at my parents over the weekend. I'm sure it will be fine, but I'm a little nervous about being alone for 5 days with Patrick!! Wish me luck!
I am almost down to my pre pregnancy weight (which for the record was 10 pounds heaver than my pre TTC weight) so I have a ways to go. I kept hoping that nursing would help move that along but so far it doesn't seem to be. I'm trying to watch what I eat and cut out the crappy snacks that seem to sneak up in the afternoon. Maybe that will help. Along with getting my rear back in the gym! We're still debating the day care situation. Trying to figure out when we need it and how frequently. I think we'll have to make an appointment to discuss our needs and see what they say. To say I'm not looking forward to it would be an understatement!!! I hope to have it ironed out in the next month or so. And lastly I got my car back today!!! After almost 8 weeks in the shop after what I would consider a small fender bender, it's finally fixed and back in my garage! Now let's just keep it that way!!

Other than that we're all just anxiously awaiting some warm weather. We had a little tease over the weekend at almost 50*. I can't wait to go strolling through the neighborhood with Patrick, and throw open the windows and let the sunshine come flowing in!

5 Months old

Happy 5 months sweet Patrick...

Updates tomorrow...now it's time for bed!!

Catching up

I feel like I'm getting behind on Patrick's activities...if you can call them that!

First...food...he LOVES it! We started 2 weeks ago on 'solids'. And from first bite, he was in love. He opens his mouth as soon as he sees the spoon and gets so mad when we're done. Apparently I've been starving the kid all along! We're starting with stage 1 right now. The doctor said to skip the cereal and oatmeal. We've had bananas, sweet potatoes and peaches so far. All a big hit. We did a half of container at first, but realized real quick that he wanted more. After a week of just 1 container, once a day, we moved onto 2 containers twice a day. We'll see how that goes. I am hoping to get a better feeding schedule down in the next few weeks but I feel like there aren't enough hours in the day to get that much food in him. Here's his schedule in a nutshell
8:00-9:00 am get up, have 5 oz breastmilk in a bottle (or nurse on the weekends)
10:30 - quick cat nap (usually 30 minutes)
12:00 - 5 oz of breastmik in a bottle if I am not home yet or nurse if I come straight home from work
2:00 - another quick cat nap (usually 30-45 minutes)
3:00 -4 - nurse
4:00-5 - 1 container of food
5:00-6 - nurse
7:15 - 5 oz. bottle and then bed

So we are trying to put the extra container of food in before the morning nap. And I'm only nursing him again so quickly at 5pm because I feel like he hasn't nursed enough throughout the day. This is a huge improvement from eating every 2 hours. I know all babies are different, I'm just hoping he starts putting on some weight soon!!

Second - rolling over - he's getting pretty good at it now. He almost always rolls himself over in his sleep and wakes up on his belly. I'm thinking his is helping him sleep better at night. He can't flinch and wake himself up! We are still working on rolling back over. If he gets tired of being on his belly, he just gets mad and then forgets he can roll back over! And we're working on sitting up and standing up. He likes standing, but not sitting.

Third - sleep - it's going MUCH better! He wakes up if he has a problem (i.e. wet through is diaper or something) but for the most part is back to sleeping all night. And we are forcing 2 naps a day even if they are only 20-30 minutes. The doctor said as long as he's getting 10 hours at night, not to worry about it. But it gives us a few minutes during the day to regroup! And he isn't near as fussy in the evenings as he was with no naps. He must be tired, he falls asleep almost every time. It does take a little rocking and the vacuum sometimes, but whatever works:-)

And lastly - Patrick's mom and dad - we're doing pretty good with the routine we have going. I'm gone in the mornings until noon usually. I've been taking 2 days a week to go to the gym after work so then I get home a little after 1. I enjoy the time at the gym, so I'm glad to be able to put that back into the schedule! And Dean goes and does his errands and work stuff in the afternoons. So it works out for both. I wish it could stay this way and we could leave day care out of the scenario, but I don't think that's an option. We still have a few months to figure it out.
Originally (before Patrick was born) I was pretty sure I wanted to start trying again right away for a second baby. Knowing how long it took this time, knowing our ages, etc, etc, I didn't want to wait until it was too late. But now that we're in the throws of parenthood....I just don't know. My period came back in early December. It was two weeks late (according to pre baby calculations) and I freaked out. Leading me to believe that NO, I am not ready for another baby. Maybe in a few months. I know breastfeeding can alter a lot when it comes to cycles and timing and all that. So for a while we'll be a little more careful;)

Hopefully this catches me up on everything. I'm going to try to get a little better at posting. I hope to use this as a reference the 2nd time around...so I need to get better about my information!!

Operation Turn the tv off!

Patrick is so interested in the tv. If it's on, he's looking at it. And when you're home alone with just a baby what is usually on in the background? The TV. So Saturday I was home alone for a while so I decided to leave it off. Patrick seemed so much calmer and even took an hour and a half nap in the afternoon! Now I realize this could be coincidence, but we've decided to try to leave the tv off a little more. Now we turn it on for the nightly news and the early morning shows and that's about it. I don't know that it has helped the naps this week, but it's nice not to have it constantly blaring at us. It's more fun to play and listen to music anyway:-)

Disclaimer -- We don't just sit in front of the tv when it's on...but it is in our living room where we hang out for a majority of the day!

Back to it

I headed back to the gym today....(insert cheers here!) I froze my membership until Dec 1 when I thought I would be in enough of a routine to go back and hopefully lose some weight before Florida....um, yeah that didn't happen. And I got my January bill and they raised the rates again. So I decided I either need to get my tail there or cancel the membership. I've always liked going. It's clean and well maintained. They have the equipment and classes I like. So despite the rate hike I am going to give it another month or two and see how it goes. Right now, I will be happy going 3 days a week. If I can go Saturday mornings, and then Tuesday and Thursday after work, that should be good. I just need to remind myself that although I'm not at home with my baby, being in better shape and doing what's best for my health is also what is best for Patrick. I want to be able to run and play with him in a few months...so this is what has to be done. And maybe in a few months the weather will break and we can head outside for stroller rides and fun outdoors too.

Happy Saturday!

Who needs sleep?

Have you heard the song??
Who needs sleep?
Well your never gonna get it.
Who needs sleep?
Tell me what's that for?
Who needs sleep?
Be happy with what you're getting...

Well in our world apparently no one needs sleep. This sweet baby has gone from sleeping 12-13 hours a night to waking up several times a night. Tuesday night he was up from 11 til 4am...needless to say I didn't go to work on Wednesday. And the worst part is, he doesn't take a nap during the day. So there's no rest for the weary around here.

In other news, per the doctor, he's started on stage 1 foods. He doc gave us free reign on what to pick, so we went with bananas. He seems to like them. Though not much actually goes down his throat. But we'll keep working on it. Hopefully it will help him gain a little weight.

And he's gotten really good at turning over. Now he'll just hang out on his stomach looking around. Before when we made him lay on his stomach he'd fuss and scream til we finally picked him up. This is much better for everyone:)

And just when I thought my supply was starting to tank, I have been quite the milk producer these days. On that note, I need to go pump and get my rear in bed. Even though I'd rather be watching Colt McCoy and the Texas Longhorns....why do they have to play so late and on a weeknight???

Who's out there?

So I found this on another blog and now I'm curious too....who's out there reading? It's International Blog Delurking Week. So if you're out there reading, leave a comment and let me know how you found this blog and where you're from! I know my life isn't always exciting and I mostly keep this so I don't forget but it would be fun to know who I'm sharing these stories with.

4 month appointment

Patrick had his 4 month appointment and shots yesterday. I swear he knew they were coming...he cried almost the entire time the doctor was in there!


His stats this time were not the greatest. Weight was 11 pounds, 12.5 oz (only 5 oz up from the 2 month appointment) and in the 3%, height was 24 inches (10-25%) and head circumference was 16.75 (75%). So he is skinny with a big head! I was concerned about the weight, we've been sort of monitoring it at home and I knew he hadn't gained that much...heck he's still wearing some 0-3 month clothes!! The doctor said he's not worried about it yet, but that he wants to see us back in 1 month for a weight check. And he wants us to start food in the next week or so. I don't think he's ready for it. I don't have a good reason other than I just don't think he is. But we'll try it out and see. He said to just skip the cereal and pick a food for a few days. So I'll head to the store this week and see what I can find. I think we'll start this weekend when we're both home all day.

After the appointment we had a few errands to run and thankfully Patrick slept in his seat the entire time. We decided to get H1.N1 shots after talking to the doctor about them again. And even though this is probably not the way things go, we dropped by a day care center near our house. I've been talking about calling there for weeks now but keep putting it off. Thinking and hoping that something in our situation is going to change and we won't need a daycare center this spring. But as far as I can tell that isn't going to happen. The place was nice. I always sort of turned my nose up at it because it's in a little strip mall basically in the middle of nothing. But I have/had nothing to compare it to before I went to visit. They have a lock system in place where you have to have a code to get in. All the rooms are open with half walls so the director can see and hear everything that is going on in the entire center. She took us in the baby room and told us all about the place. It looked nice. All the kids seemed happy. And she knew ALL of their names. I was impressed. They have curriculum for all the rooms, even the infant room. So it's like a preschool too. And it has come recommended to us by 2 people and I saw 2 other people I know come in to pick up kids while we were standing there. So she gave us the tour, handed us the handbook, put Patrick on the list for March or April and sent us on our way. While I know he would be in good hands there and we learned a lot in our 20 minutes talking to her, I couldn't help but feel a little sick to my stomach as we walked out the doors. Leaving my baby....even at 6 or 7 months....is just too much for me to think about. I know this is inevitable but with the lack of sleep, period hormones starting to rage and coming down off the vacation high, it is just too much. We have a lot to figure out and a lot to decide on. We'll have to get our schedule together and make an appointment to go back in and talk to her again. This sounds easy I know, but trying to get my husband to figure out the future is not easy. I think I'm going to give it a few days (and hopefully get a few full nights sleep under our belts) and bring it up again.

And with that I'm off to pump and hopefully go to bed early. Praying for a good night!

Another Monday?

Patrick had another rough night. Up for a while around midnight and then again at 5. I ended up sleeping with him in the living room for a while and then Dean didn't come get me when my alarm went off so I was running around like a chicken with my head cut off trying to get ready this morning. I have never wished more that I didn't work for my family so I could be a stay at home mom. I didn't think coming back after vacation and holidays would be so hard...ugh.

Anyway, doctor appointment this afternoon....hoping it goes well! Updates later.

Does it count?

If Patrick rolled over for the first time (from back to front) in a fit of rage? He's been so close for the last week or so but can't seem to get his head off the ground to finish the job. And tonight while he was screaming bloody murder, he did it. Sort of funny. I know he will be doing it on a regular basis before too long!!

I want to do a new years post and we're going to his 4 month appointment tomorrow afternoon. Hopefully I'll have time to do both of those soon!!