Single parenting

It's not what I thought it would be like. It's easier at the times I thought it would be the hardest. It's hardest at times I am not expecting it to be. Needless to say, I don't think I'm cut out for it and I can't wait until Tuesday! Patrick has been so good this weekend. He got himself overtired yesterday and had a meltdown before bed. But as soon as bedtime rolled around he went right to sleep. And he's been getting up an hour earlier than normal (which is still 7:30 so not too early) but I'm not sure why. But he wakes up happy and that's all I can ask for. We've kept ourselves busy but being in this big empty house all night is lonely! We're headed to my parents today for a while this afternoon. Hopefully that will break up the day. And I have to go to work tomorrow. I guess I'd better get busy doing housework. Apparently when I'm the only one here I don't feel the need to clean as much...so this house needs it!!!

The future

As I was putting Patrick to bed tonight, looking down at his sweet, sleeping face, I couldn't help but think about the future. What will bedtime be like this summer? In a year? Two years? I just can't picture us with a toddler. I can't picture Patrick walking, talking and growing up....why is that? Is that normal? And honestly our days blur together. They are over as quick as they start it seems so I don't have much time to think about all this. But tonight I'm a single parent. Daddy is in Orlando and I have the house and evening to myself and apparently this is where my thoughts are going. I love my sweet baby and that love grows everyday...and I know that means he is growing with it.

Couple more things...

A few things I forgot yesterday....

~ A new favorite pastime is standing up. He loves to hold our hands and stand up. He likes to look around and watch what's going on.



~ He loves to watch the cats. It's like he just started noticing they are around. They usually hide out during the day when he's awake.



~ He is learning to take toys from us. He focuses really hard on it and then snatches it up and puts it right in his mouth. Even if he's crying!



~ He has learned a little separation anxiety. He totally knows when we leave the room!!

Ok I think that's about all...again:-) I think of all these things I want to remember but don't get around to posting them. I guess some things take priority and this isn't always one of them!

22 weeks old - 5 month update

I really can't believe it's been 22 weeks since birthed our sweet boy. Really? 22 weeks? Crazy!

Latest updates:
~ Food - still loves it. We've had peas, sweet potatoes, bananas, applesauce and peaches. So far all are a hit except the peas. They take a little work! We're trying squash this week. Hopefully it goes well.

~ Sleep - still going well. He naps 2-3 times a day (usually 2) for 30-45 minutes each. Although yesterday he shocked me and slept for 2 hours in the afternoon! He's pretty good about going to sleep around 7:30 and sleeping til 8 or 8:30 in the morning.

~ Nursing - going well. He has 1 or 2 bottles while I'm at work and then nurses 3-4 times before bed. So far I haven't had any issues with my supply. The only time I notice anything out of the ordinary is if I haven't had enough water to drink! So I'm working on keeping that up!

~ Schedule - still about the same. I have hopes it will stay this way for a while.

~ Weight - from what we can tell he hasn't really gained since his 4 month appointment. We have a follow up next week. I don't know what they'll do if he doesn't gain much or any weight. He eats fine, doesn't spit up that much and doesn't seem to have any diaper issues (i.e. diarrhea or the like). He seems like a healthy baby to us, so I'm hoping they'll just keep an eye on it.

In other comings and goings around our house, Daddy is headed to the PGA show in Orlando tomorrow. My first time at single parenthood. I took Friday off work, having lunch with a friend on Saturday and probably spending some time at my parents over the weekend. I'm sure it will be fine, but I'm a little nervous about being alone for 5 days with Patrick!! Wish me luck!
I am almost down to my pre pregnancy weight (which for the record was 10 pounds heaver than my pre TTC weight) so I have a ways to go. I kept hoping that nursing would help move that along but so far it doesn't seem to be. I'm trying to watch what I eat and cut out the crappy snacks that seem to sneak up in the afternoon. Maybe that will help. Along with getting my rear back in the gym! We're still debating the day care situation. Trying to figure out when we need it and how frequently. I think we'll have to make an appointment to discuss our needs and see what they say. To say I'm not looking forward to it would be an understatement!!! I hope to have it ironed out in the next month or so. And lastly I got my car back today!!! After almost 8 weeks in the shop after what I would consider a small fender bender, it's finally fixed and back in my garage! Now let's just keep it that way!!

Other than that we're all just anxiously awaiting some warm weather. We had a little tease over the weekend at almost 50*. I can't wait to go strolling through the neighborhood with Patrick, and throw open the windows and let the sunshine come flowing in!

5 Months old

Happy 5 months sweet Patrick...

Updates tomorrow...now it's time for bed!!

Catching up

I feel like I'm getting behind on Patrick's activities...if you can call them that!

First...food...he LOVES it! We started 2 weeks ago on 'solids'. And from first bite, he was in love. He opens his mouth as soon as he sees the spoon and gets so mad when we're done. Apparently I've been starving the kid all along! We're starting with stage 1 right now. The doctor said to skip the cereal and oatmeal. We've had bananas, sweet potatoes and peaches so far. All a big hit. We did a half of container at first, but realized real quick that he wanted more. After a week of just 1 container, once a day, we moved onto 2 containers twice a day. We'll see how that goes. I am hoping to get a better feeding schedule down in the next few weeks but I feel like there aren't enough hours in the day to get that much food in him. Here's his schedule in a nutshell
8:00-9:00 am get up, have 5 oz breastmilk in a bottle (or nurse on the weekends)
10:30 - quick cat nap (usually 30 minutes)
12:00 - 5 oz of breastmik in a bottle if I am not home yet or nurse if I come straight home from work
2:00 - another quick cat nap (usually 30-45 minutes)
3:00 -4 - nurse
4:00-5 - 1 container of food
5:00-6 - nurse
7:15 - 5 oz. bottle and then bed

So we are trying to put the extra container of food in before the morning nap. And I'm only nursing him again so quickly at 5pm because I feel like he hasn't nursed enough throughout the day. This is a huge improvement from eating every 2 hours. I know all babies are different, I'm just hoping he starts putting on some weight soon!!

Second - rolling over - he's getting pretty good at it now. He almost always rolls himself over in his sleep and wakes up on his belly. I'm thinking his is helping him sleep better at night. He can't flinch and wake himself up! We are still working on rolling back over. If he gets tired of being on his belly, he just gets mad and then forgets he can roll back over! And we're working on sitting up and standing up. He likes standing, but not sitting.

Third - sleep - it's going MUCH better! He wakes up if he has a problem (i.e. wet through is diaper or something) but for the most part is back to sleeping all night. And we are forcing 2 naps a day even if they are only 20-30 minutes. The doctor said as long as he's getting 10 hours at night, not to worry about it. But it gives us a few minutes during the day to regroup! And he isn't near as fussy in the evenings as he was with no naps. He must be tired, he falls asleep almost every time. It does take a little rocking and the vacuum sometimes, but whatever works:-)

And lastly - Patrick's mom and dad - we're doing pretty good with the routine we have going. I'm gone in the mornings until noon usually. I've been taking 2 days a week to go to the gym after work so then I get home a little after 1. I enjoy the time at the gym, so I'm glad to be able to put that back into the schedule! And Dean goes and does his errands and work stuff in the afternoons. So it works out for both. I wish it could stay this way and we could leave day care out of the scenario, but I don't think that's an option. We still have a few months to figure it out.
Originally (before Patrick was born) I was pretty sure I wanted to start trying again right away for a second baby. Knowing how long it took this time, knowing our ages, etc, etc, I didn't want to wait until it was too late. But now that we're in the throws of parenthood....I just don't know. My period came back in early December. It was two weeks late (according to pre baby calculations) and I freaked out. Leading me to believe that NO, I am not ready for another baby. Maybe in a few months. I know breastfeeding can alter a lot when it comes to cycles and timing and all that. So for a while we'll be a little more careful;)

Hopefully this catches me up on everything. I'm going to try to get a little better at posting. I hope to use this as a reference the 2nd time around...so I need to get better about my information!!

Operation Turn the tv off!

Patrick is so interested in the tv. If it's on, he's looking at it. And when you're home alone with just a baby what is usually on in the background? The TV. So Saturday I was home alone for a while so I decided to leave it off. Patrick seemed so much calmer and even took an hour and a half nap in the afternoon! Now I realize this could be coincidence, but we've decided to try to leave the tv off a little more. Now we turn it on for the nightly news and the early morning shows and that's about it. I don't know that it has helped the naps this week, but it's nice not to have it constantly blaring at us. It's more fun to play and listen to music anyway:-)

Disclaimer -- We don't just sit in front of the tv when it's on...but it is in our living room where we hang out for a majority of the day!

Back to it

I headed back to the gym today....(insert cheers here!) I froze my membership until Dec 1 when I thought I would be in enough of a routine to go back and hopefully lose some weight before Florida....um, yeah that didn't happen. And I got my January bill and they raised the rates again. So I decided I either need to get my tail there or cancel the membership. I've always liked going. It's clean and well maintained. They have the equipment and classes I like. So despite the rate hike I am going to give it another month or two and see how it goes. Right now, I will be happy going 3 days a week. If I can go Saturday mornings, and then Tuesday and Thursday after work, that should be good. I just need to remind myself that although I'm not at home with my baby, being in better shape and doing what's best for my health is also what is best for Patrick. I want to be able to run and play with him in a few months...so this is what has to be done. And maybe in a few months the weather will break and we can head outside for stroller rides and fun outdoors too.

Happy Saturday!

Who needs sleep?

Have you heard the song??
Who needs sleep?
Well your never gonna get it.
Who needs sleep?
Tell me what's that for?
Who needs sleep?
Be happy with what you're getting...

Well in our world apparently no one needs sleep. This sweet baby has gone from sleeping 12-13 hours a night to waking up several times a night. Tuesday night he was up from 11 til 4am...needless to say I didn't go to work on Wednesday. And the worst part is, he doesn't take a nap during the day. So there's no rest for the weary around here.

In other news, per the doctor, he's started on stage 1 foods. He doc gave us free reign on what to pick, so we went with bananas. He seems to like them. Though not much actually goes down his throat. But we'll keep working on it. Hopefully it will help him gain a little weight.

And he's gotten really good at turning over. Now he'll just hang out on his stomach looking around. Before when we made him lay on his stomach he'd fuss and scream til we finally picked him up. This is much better for everyone:)

And just when I thought my supply was starting to tank, I have been quite the milk producer these days. On that note, I need to go pump and get my rear in bed. Even though I'd rather be watching Colt McCoy and the Texas Longhorns....why do they have to play so late and on a weeknight???

Who's out there?

So I found this on another blog and now I'm curious too....who's out there reading? It's International Blog Delurking Week. So if you're out there reading, leave a comment and let me know how you found this blog and where you're from! I know my life isn't always exciting and I mostly keep this so I don't forget but it would be fun to know who I'm sharing these stories with.

4 month appointment

Patrick had his 4 month appointment and shots yesterday. I swear he knew they were coming...he cried almost the entire time the doctor was in there!


His stats this time were not the greatest. Weight was 11 pounds, 12.5 oz (only 5 oz up from the 2 month appointment) and in the 3%, height was 24 inches (10-25%) and head circumference was 16.75 (75%). So he is skinny with a big head! I was concerned about the weight, we've been sort of monitoring it at home and I knew he hadn't gained that much...heck he's still wearing some 0-3 month clothes!! The doctor said he's not worried about it yet, but that he wants to see us back in 1 month for a weight check. And he wants us to start food in the next week or so. I don't think he's ready for it. I don't have a good reason other than I just don't think he is. But we'll try it out and see. He said to just skip the cereal and pick a food for a few days. So I'll head to the store this week and see what I can find. I think we'll start this weekend when we're both home all day.

After the appointment we had a few errands to run and thankfully Patrick slept in his seat the entire time. We decided to get H1.N1 shots after talking to the doctor about them again. And even though this is probably not the way things go, we dropped by a day care center near our house. I've been talking about calling there for weeks now but keep putting it off. Thinking and hoping that something in our situation is going to change and we won't need a daycare center this spring. But as far as I can tell that isn't going to happen. The place was nice. I always sort of turned my nose up at it because it's in a little strip mall basically in the middle of nothing. But I have/had nothing to compare it to before I went to visit. They have a lock system in place where you have to have a code to get in. All the rooms are open with half walls so the director can see and hear everything that is going on in the entire center. She took us in the baby room and told us all about the place. It looked nice. All the kids seemed happy. And she knew ALL of their names. I was impressed. They have curriculum for all the rooms, even the infant room. So it's like a preschool too. And it has come recommended to us by 2 people and I saw 2 other people I know come in to pick up kids while we were standing there. So she gave us the tour, handed us the handbook, put Patrick on the list for March or April and sent us on our way. While I know he would be in good hands there and we learned a lot in our 20 minutes talking to her, I couldn't help but feel a little sick to my stomach as we walked out the doors. Leaving my baby....even at 6 or 7 months....is just too much for me to think about. I know this is inevitable but with the lack of sleep, period hormones starting to rage and coming down off the vacation high, it is just too much. We have a lot to figure out and a lot to decide on. We'll have to get our schedule together and make an appointment to go back in and talk to her again. This sounds easy I know, but trying to get my husband to figure out the future is not easy. I think I'm going to give it a few days (and hopefully get a few full nights sleep under our belts) and bring it up again.

And with that I'm off to pump and hopefully go to bed early. Praying for a good night!

Another Monday?

Patrick had another rough night. Up for a while around midnight and then again at 5. I ended up sleeping with him in the living room for a while and then Dean didn't come get me when my alarm went off so I was running around like a chicken with my head cut off trying to get ready this morning. I have never wished more that I didn't work for my family so I could be a stay at home mom. I didn't think coming back after vacation and holidays would be so hard...ugh.

Anyway, doctor appointment this afternoon....hoping it goes well! Updates later.

Does it count?

If Patrick rolled over for the first time (from back to front) in a fit of rage? He's been so close for the last week or so but can't seem to get his head off the ground to finish the job. And tonight while he was screaming bloody murder, he did it. Sort of funny. I know he will be doing it on a regular basis before too long!!

I want to do a new years post and we're going to his 4 month appointment tomorrow afternoon. Hopefully I'll have time to do both of those soon!!