and again...

Another blood test. My levels didn't go down enough. I'm so upset. I know that I keep saying this, but it's not fair. I'm so over this. I want a baby. I want a family. I want what everyone else seems to get so easily. And this news on top of an already crappy day. I didn't sleep well so I'm tired and cranky. A coworker basically gave me all her work because she's apparently too stupid to figure out how to screw around on the Internet AND get her work done at the same time. So instead, she just gives it to me. I had a miscommunication with my husband, so my lunch hour was spent doing something that I didn't really need to do, which is annoying. So now we have to do it after work. Again, annoying. And if I have to read, look at or hear about another pregnant person I am going to bust. I'm being selfish, I know that. And at this point I don't care. I feel like I've taken all this in stride the last 2 months, but I'm done. I'm done being nice about it, I'm done not thinking of myself. Why shouldn't I? It's not getting me anywhere. Everyone around me only thinks of themselves. Being a better person is supposed to pay off in the end. I realize I'm far from the end, but still. Why do rude, selfish, obnoxious people get what they want? Do they get it because they step all over people to get it? Probably. Maybe I don't want to be like that. But for right now, in my head, I'm going to be selfish, sad, and sorry. I don't have to make it known outside my head for now.

UGH....well I need to get back to all the work that wasn't mine, but is now. Can tomorrow please come faster?