Stealing this from Emily. It was very moving to me right now. I'm in a dark place right now. Can't seem to pull myself out of it. Maybe I need therapy, maybe I need time away, maybe I just need to forget this whole journey. Either way, I don't see myself the same anymore and I don't think I can go back. I'm getting good at putting on the happy face and going about my days, but when I lay down at night and ask God to forgive me for lying to everyone I see and talk to, I can't help but cry. Poor Dean doesn't know what to do with me. I guess I don't know what to do with me either. I'm out of ideas. Out of thoughts. Out of strength, hope, patience. Praying it all comes back someday.