5 days til VACATION!

Well, we leave for San Fran in 5 days. I'm very excited, but for the first time in a long time, I'm thinking back on the pregnancy and playing the 'what if' game. I haven't paid much attention to the time frame of things, but I would probably be finding out if we were having a boy or girl this week. At least when we found out about the pregnancy, I was hoping we would know by now. I was so excited to be going to visit my aunt and grandma and knowing what we were having. Being able to share that with them, going shopping and just talking about it. Now, what am I going to talk about? The fact that my body doesn't work right? The fact that I can't seem to get through this stupid m/c stuff and start a new cycle? Ugh....frustrating for sure. And of course I fall back into feeling guilty. Guilt is a tough emotion. We all know we shouldn't have it, but there it is...following us around. There are so many people out there dealing with things far worse than this! Death, illness, sadness, loneliness. All things I have dealt with in the past, but right now, what I'm going through is nothing compared to these. I'm just trying to remind myself of that.
Although despite this small setback, I feel like I've been doing well. I don't feel as sad and bitter about our situation. I feel oddly at peace. Now when the next cycle starts again, I am sure all those feelings will come flooding back, but for now, I'm going to try to enjoy myself! And keep the countdown going....5 more days til vacation!!!