New Look

So I changed the look again...and I love it....I love pink! (I'm thinking it will help change my mood!!)

Since I wrote earlier today I can't stop thinking about what should have been, what could have been. I need to get these thoughts out of my head. They are all compounding and that can't be good. I broke my camera over the weekend by dropping it and that is making me feel worse. Isn't it funny how one little thing seems to toss you right over the edge? It's a stupid $200 camera and I'm a mess about it. I'm sure it's something a little more than that, but for right now, the camera is what's causing the mental breakdown. I feel guilty because we shouldn't be spending the money on a new camera, then I feel bad because we shouldn't even have money problems in the first place. I should have been able to just get pregnant like everyone else. Not have to pay thousands of dollars. Oh this vicious cycle....please stop...please. All because of a stupid camera and a stupid accident.

Time for bed. Sleep is the one thing that can make things better.