What's left...

What's left when good news cancels out bad news? I wish I knew, because that's where I'm at right now....I got good news from a dear friend and then bad news about our journey towards parenthood. I can't go into the good news, but there are a lot of prayers of continued support going out right now. As for the bad...well, I still have an HcG level of 37... Thirty...freaken...seven. It has been 6 weeks. 6 LONG weeks. Spotting for 6 weeks? Waiting, worrying, wondering for 6 weeks. I'm over it. I know I will probably forget all about this when we are in the hospital delivering a precious baby, but right now I can't even see that far ahead. So no provera, just another blood test in a week. At this point, because of our travel plans, we won't be able to get a cycle in before we go to San Francisco at Thanksgiving. Which in the grand scheme of things is really no big deal. I was just hoping to get one in before that. I need to just forget about the timing I guess. We'll make it work whenever it happens. And maybe having a cycle 'off' will be good...who knows. I just need to keep looking for peace and patience within myself...

In other news, I've been to the gym everyday this week...that makes me feel a little better about myself. I guess just forcing myself to do it makes it easier. I'm not even that tired. So I will try to continue this pattern. Maybe even try to go over the weekend. We'll see...

My mom had her 2nd chemo treatment last week and next week is her 'off' week, so she and my dad are headed to Cali to visit family for a few days. I know she's looking forward to that. Her kitchen project isn't going very well, but hopefully will farther along once they get back. She's a very strong and wonderful woman. She's been through so much, I need to look to her for the courage to be stronger and better. I strive to be as strong as her!