It's finally over

Yep, that's right...it's over. It was a long day, but somehow we made it through. I want to write out all the details before they slip away...so if you don't want to know about them, you can skip over this part.

The day started by dropping off the girls golf stuff to our good friend Steve who is taking Dean's golf team to their tournament for him so he could be with me. We finally get on the road to GR and it starts pouring....I mean POURING! I thought we were going to have to pull over at one point because it was raining so hard. We only got turned around once, but finally made it there. Even 15 minutes early...which was nice. They took us back at 10 like they said we would. The first thing the nurse said was "I'm so sorry you have to be here"...that made it a little difficult to hold it together, then the dr poked his head in and asked how we were and I just lost it. I was terrified. The nurse hugged me and I calmed down. I got changed and she said she'd be back. Dean and I hugged and he told me he loved me. He is such a good husband. She said he could go back with me for the procedure if he wanted. I left it up to him, and he put the gown on and said he thought he should. So she came in and started the IV. Which I was a little nervous about b/c I have never had one. It hurt a bit, but once they put the drugs through it, I was fine. We walked back to the procedure room. They did a quick ultrasound (which I'm not going to lie, I was hoping they'd find a little baby in there!) Then they pushed the drugs. I put my mp3 player on but I thank I was too out of it to hear anything anyway. I didn't feel much either, just a little pressure. I woke up enough to ask to see it (why? I have no idea). It was just a big tube filled with blood. But that blood was my baby and I wanted to see it). They scooted me over to another bed and wheeled me back to the recovery area. I slept for probably about an hour and then the nurse came in to take the IV out and talk to us. Taking the IV out hurt, a lot. And I don't know why they try to tell you all this stuff after. I was so drugged up, I hardly remember anything. But Dean got it all and they gave him a paper telling instructions. I tried to get up to get dressed, but got quite dizzy and sick feeling. I had to sit back down. There was blood on the bed and I don't think that was helping. I tried to get dressed as fast as possible so I could lay back down. Dean went to get the car to pick me up around back. They wheeled me out in a wheel chair and I was asleep in the car in no time. I was hungry so we stopped at Mc Donalds and ate in the car. There was no way I could get out. We made it home and I went straight to bed. Slept all afternoon. My mom came over while Dean had to go out for a bit. I woke up and felt a little crampy but took some advil and that seemed to help. I fell asleep on the couch and finally dragged myself to bed. I woke up several times with cramping but overall it went good. I have a slight backache this morning, but again with the advil and hopefully it will go away soon. Dean had practice with his girls, so I'm home alone. But he will check in on me periodically. And my mom can come back over if I need her. But honestly I feel really good. I feel revived and ready to move on. I'm sad at the loss of our pregnancy and baby, but I'm very hopeful that these doctors can figure out what is going on and help me maintain a healthy, 9 month pregnancy. We will have an appointment in 2 weeks to follow up.

I feel like I have learned a lot about myself and my relationship with my husband. He has been so strong through all of this even though he is hurting too. I love him with all my heart and could not be more thankful for the way he has cared for me. I know I couldn't have done any of this with out him. I cannot wait to give him a baby so he can love and care for him/her too.

Well, back to the couch for me. I'm not used to being home during the day...who knows what daytime tv brings!!!