Friday

Ahhh...Friday, just the word makes me happy. And now that we're on the downward slide to the end of the workday, it's even better! I don't have much going on right now. I guess I thought that once I got pregnant I would feel different. I don't. Other than being tired, waves of nausea, some heartburn and a little bloat, I feel basically the same. I keep having to remind myself that this is indeed happening. I have small thoughts that creep in from time to time that we'll get bad news at the ultrasound next Thursday, but I'm trying to push them right back out as soon as they come into my head! I know the weekend will go fast (they always do) but next week will probably drag on! We haven't told too many people yet either. I think that makes it hard to feel real too. I have told my family (basically because they knew we were having troubles), my good friends and a few other people. Dean has told a few people too, but hasn't told his parents. His moms birthday is August 31st so I think he wants to wait til then. I'm terrified of telling them. It's not that we don't get along we just don't have anything in common. They are nice but their ideas of things are VERY different than mine. And they don't seem to give a shit that I am married to their kid or our lives. They only call when they want or need something (usually whatever it it is, it has to be done right then). I saw his mom a few weeks ago, and the last time I saw her was my birthday in March. The last time I've seen his dad was for Deans birthday in February. Somehow I got out of Mothers day and I'm never invited along for Fathers day. They've never said that they're happy to have me as a DIL or anything. Never once said anything nice about the wedding my parents (and I) put on. Even though they acted like they did and paid for everything while they were there. So needless to say, I'm nervous. I know his dad has made mention of wanting grand kids (specifically a girl) so I'm sure they'll be happy. But if they say anything about what it is and it better be a girl, or we'd better name it...whatever...I might freak. His mom knows we had a miscarriage last summer and has NEVER once said anything about it to me. No "I'm sorry", no "we're thinking of you" nothing. Apparently they don't talk about bad things. So if they say something about how long it's been or anything, again, I might freak. And I'm sure you're thinking that I'm being a bit dramatic, but his parents have a way of saying things that are totally inappropriate. I blame that on the fact that they have no social skills and hang out with the same hillbilly people all the time. You'd think being golfers that they'd have some sort of common social graces, but they don't. So I'm nervous about their reaction, what they'll say etc. And if I'm having a particularly bad day hormonally, I might just go off on them. And if they think for ONE second that my baby is going to be in their care without me around they have another thing coming. Dean is an only child. And once when I was pushing his mom about why they didn't have more kids she said b/c FIL was so bad with Dean and had no patience. After pushing the issue, basically he hit him and was horribly mean. UM NO THANK YOU! Shortly after that (we weren't TTC at the time) I told Dean that under no uncertain terms were my kids to be over there alone. And thank God he agreed. At least at the time.
Anyway, so now you know the thoughts for the day. I guess I'd better get back to work. Less than 3 hours to go now! Wahoo. Thanks for listening/reading, sorry I got off track a little!! Have a good weekend!!