Renewed hope

I've spoken with the nurse a few times today and they want me to do 1 more cycle of the Clomid and the Dr. has added prometrium again for day 16-28 to maybe stop the early spotting. My instructions were to take an HPT and start the clomid tonight or tomorrow. So I think I'll start tomorrow because I'm out of town in 2 weeks and that'll give me an extra day when I get back...although I may change my mind by the time I get home. I have already filled the prescription, so it's just waiting for me to pick it up after work today. And I have an HPT at home, so we'll see. I might just go ahead and do it tonight. We'll see...
The weirdest part was originally they told me no, not to see the specialist quite yet. So we're going to give it one more cycle. I pray and hope that this is it for me. Although I have been praying and hoping for a long time. I know not as long as some, but to me it feels like a really long time. So at least for now I have a plan, I have some renewed hope. I feel some excitement again. It's amazing how quickly that excitement comes and goes on this ride to becoming parents. I feel like I have a change in emotions on a daily basis!!
The hardest part right now is being at work. I have to take and make these phone calls from the Dr. and I work in an open office. No door to close, no cubical wall to help block the sound. So I have to go outside to make a personal phone call. So of course everyone here gives me the eye (you know what I'm talking about!) when I come back. I want to scream at them that they have no clue what I'm going through. They think it should be so easy, and that it's no big deal...little do they know that there are days that I feel like I can't go on...can't do this anymore. Can't face them, my family, my work, anything again. At least they've stopped asking if I'm ok when I get back. Just the stares. Maybe they finally got the hint that I don't want to talk about my private life with them. Probably not...but I can hope they have some sense of privacy and dignity...but probably not.
Anyway...here we go again...please if you have any prayers left, please send them my way. I will be forever grateful!