5 weeks old!

Another week gone by! I can't believe it. Our trip to CA has been great. I've managed to keep Patrick on MI bedtime, which makes dinner time tough around here. But I think it's a good idea to at least try! It will make going home a little easier! I however have not been staying on MI time, so I'm not getting near enough sleep. Although the little guy must have known because he slept great last night! It was fabulous!! I hope he keeps that up when we get home!! The daytime schedule is a little off though. He seems to be sleeping a little more during the day and I'm not sure what the reason is. But he seems happy and he's eating plenty, so it should be fine.

As far as developments, he has started focusing on our faces more, following my voice and watching me from wherever he's sitting. He's also following toys that we move slowly in front of his face. He doesn't follow them for long, but I think it's a good step. He's moving a ton, constantly kicking his legs and moving his arms. His eyes are finally opening really wide. Although I've noticed he only has tears coming out of his left eye. And it's also goopy (I know, not a medical term). If he's been crying, it's worse. It doesn't seem to bother him though. I am a little concerned that the right eye doesn't tear as much (if at all). That was the eye he kept closed most of the time for the first few weeks. I am debating calling the doctor. I might wait til we get home. For now we're just keeping it clean with warm water.

My sweet boy is getting so big. I can't wait for Dean to see him on Thursday. I bet he looks a lot bigger to him! And I know he misses his little boy! And he only has 1 more week of coaching, so hopefully he'll be able to hang out with us a little more after that!! I want to get as much family time in as I can before I have to go back to work!!!

1 month

Happy 1 month birthday to my sweet baby boy. I cannot believe it's been a month!! We're in California right now. The trip out here was great. He did so wonderful, I was so happy! He only got fussy as we were getting off the plane in San Francisco. I was impressed! But he proceeded to be fussy for the rest of the night. I put him down at his Michigan bedtime. But that meant a long night for me. Although I was up at 4:30 because I'm used to getting up before that in Michigan. And I went to bed at 8pm CA time. Can I just say I HATE time changes?? We'll all probably get it figured out by the time we're ready to go home. And then we'll have to do it all over again! Oh well. I'm giving it a few more days, but I hope it gets better. I feel like everyone is just watching me and waiting to see what I do with him when he's crying. And of course the opinions...I'm sure anyone who's visited family with their kids knows what I'm talking about. My mom, aunt and grandma all giving me their opinions. And think that if they hold him, he'll quiet down. Um, sure. Oh well. I am going to do my best to relax and go with the flow. Patrick seems to do better when I'm relaxed anyway.

On another note the LPGA tour is playing at my aunts golf course. So I hope to go out there and watch either tomorrow or Sunday. I've been saying I want to go to a ladies event some day and now I have the chance!! I think Dean is a little jealous. Although he's playing at Whistling Straights on Monday...a pretty exciting opportunity for him!!

Well, I had better get some rest while Patrick is sleeping.

4 weeks

My time sure does fly!! My maternity leave is half over :( I wish insurance grew on trees so I could stay home!!! Little Patrick is growing and getting more active. He loves to kick his legs and flail his arms around. When he moves his legs it looks just like he's running. And he is really good at kicking his covers off at night, even breaking out of the swaddle!! He already hates his arms in, but apparently hates his legs in too. I'm just worried about him being too cold! He's making more noises that aren't crying sounds while he's awake. And he's starting to focus on our faces. He will follow my voice when I'm not holding him. It's so cute!! Every week he's changing and growing! It's so fun to watch!

On Thursday I'm taking Patrick to California. I can't believe I'm doing it, I'm nervous as could be about traveling. But I feel like I need to introduce him to my grandma before something happens to her. And I know it would mean a lot to her. And from what I've heard/read, it is actually a little easier at this age. They don't mind being held and I can carry him anywhere. Not like when he's 2 and won't want to sit in my lap and would rather be running through the airport rather than in a stroller. So I'm hoping for the best but preparing for the worst. The time out there will be fun though!

Well, better get back to the laundry and packing!! Wish us luck this week!!

3 weeks old

I can't believe 3 weeks ago I was just getting to the hospital with the anticipation of having our first child. I guess it doesn't really feel like 3 weeks because we've only been home for 2, but time is flying!! The days are starting to feel a little more 'normal' and don't go by quite as fast. Little Patrick has put himself on a decent schedule. He is up between 6:30 and 7 until about 10 when he eats again and then takes a good nap til 1 or 2. We're still working on the afternoon. He sort of naps on and off til 6 and this is probably why he gets so fussy in the evening. We don't have a very good feeding schedule after he gets up in the afternoon. But he then goes to bed for the night between 9 and 10 and sleeps til between 2 and 3. So I am feeling very lucky that my sweet boy sleeps so well at night and lets his momma get a good 4 hours at a time!!! SO LUCKY!! He's growing everyday. His eyes are open wider and he really looks at us now. He seems to follow us with his eyes every now and then. He seems to like us to read stories to him, but he does NOT like his mommas singing! I wouldn't either, but he really lets me know it!

So the things we need to start working on are the afternoon/evening feedings. He's still mostly sleeping in the living room. I need to remember to put him in his crib for naps so he can get used to it and hopefully start sleeping there overnight. This was my one must before we had him. I didn't want him to sleep anywhere but his crib. But the c-section put that on hold. I couldn't carry him up/down the stairs and I didn't want to be running up/down them all day/night either so we didn't have much of a choice. He doesn't seem to sleep as well up there, but hopefully that will change. I need to train myself to put him up there for his naps and he needs to learn to like it. And lastly, I need to start working on pumping more to build up more of a supply. I feel like I feed him a lot anyway, so to pump on top of that seems daunting. Some days it's easier than others, but for the most part, I hate it. But it's nice to have those bottles on hand for evening fussy time!!!

Well, I had better take advantage of nap time and get a shower and do some housework.

2 week appointment

Patrick had his 2 week appointment yesterday. He did great! He's gained back his birth weight plus some. He's up to 8 pounds 15 oz and 20.75 inches long. Even his head grew and is 15.75cm around (in the 75-90th%...even though that means nothing). I was in the 90th% for height when I was a baby and I'm just under 5' tall. So I guess since he's gaining so well I can stop worrying so much that I'm not providing enough food for him. He's obviously eating pretty well. And all our concerns seemed normal to the doctor. He was great, I really liked him. Pretty laid back and took the time to listen to our questions and give real answers, not just blow us off! We go back in 6 weeks and Patrick will have to get some shots (boo!)

I also had my 2 week incision check yesterday. Everything looks fine. I got the ok to drive and (carefully) carry him upstairs. I haven't done it yet but will soon. I go back in a month.

We took Patrick to the golf course yesterday to show him off and we even ate lunch in a restaurant (a quick one, but still....our first outing). He did great. Slept the whole time!! He woke up about 2 minutes from home because he was hungry. Overall a great day! He's such a sweet baby (I'm a little biased!) and I love him more and more each day!!

Speaking of love, just want to throw it out there that Dean has been the best father and husband a girl could ask for these last 2 weeks. He's so kind and thoughtful towards both of us and I absolutely love him for it!!! He has made this transition so easy!! Don't know that I could do it without him!

Hospital Stay

Well, we've been home for a week and I've been thinking about writing this but every time I sit down to do so, something else comes up. So here we go....

After delivery, I stayed in the recovery room for a while hooked up to monitors and a morphine pump (yay!) That night is sort of a blur of drugs, nurses and sleep. We ended up sending Patrick to the nursery for a few hours around midnight but he came back around 3 to be fed. Wednesday I was able to get the IV taken out, get rid of the morphine and the catheter. It felt good to be unattached. We hung out with Patrick all day and introduced him to all our visitors. My parents, friends, coworkers, Dean's mom and aunt. It was a pretty good day. He ate pretty well and seemed content. He went to get his circumcision in the afternoon and was pretty fussy after that (wouldn't you be??) Wednesday night the nurse noticed he was breathing quite fast. We thought it looked about the same as before and no one mentioned it, but she wanted to get it checked out. So she called the resident pediatrician on call and he came down to look at him. The decided not to do any blood work because of the circ. It would show inflammation for sure. They were worried about some kind of inflammation/infection in the lungs. Overall it was a rough evening, he didn't want to eat and obviously didn't feel good. Thursday went pretty well. We didn't have any visitors until late in the day. Which was nice. We could just be together as a family. Then Thursday night the same night nurse was on and was still concerned about his breathing (odd to me how none of the day nurses seemed concerned). She was taking him to the nursery with Dean to weigh him and somehow they got talking about the delivery, breaking my water and the nurse saying it was tinged. She checked the chart and there was nothing listed about it. So she called the resident pedi again and they ordered blood work and an x-ray to rule out any kind of lung infection. The x-ray was 'inconclusive' and the blood work came back with elevated levels of inflammation (at 4.9 which is about 8 times the normal .6) So between 2 resident pediatricians and 2 nurses, they decided he needed to go to the NICU and have antibiotics administered through an IV. Of course I was scared and wasn't ready to let them take my baby. They gave us a few minutes and we sat together and cried. I've never seen my husband cry, and it was the saddest thing I've ever seen. We were both scared and felt quite alone. We went with him to the 4th floor and the nurses there were wonderful. He had a room and they got right to work on the IV. They got it in his arm on the first try and he promptly pulled it out. So they tried again, no luck. Tried the other arm, no luck. At this point he was screaming. No amount of sweeties (sugar water) or pacifier was going to calm him down. He was NOT a happy boy. By this time it was well after midnight. I was exhausted and still quite sore. And seeing my poor baby being poked and held down was too much. I couldn't watch anymore and stepped outside to cry in the hallway. Dean stepped up and tried to calm him but at this point it wasn't working. Finally by about 3am they got it in his little head. After a few minutes with him cuddling and getting him to sleep, we went back to our room. A short few hours later we were up, showered and back with him. Not much you can do when your baby is hooked up to all those cords. Later that day they needed the room for an emergency and moved him to the step down nursery. Which is a good thing. It's for those babies who are healthier and probably on their way home soon. We were still waiting for the blood cultures to come back to show any growth. So in the meantime we just hung out with him and did the best we could to comfort and feed him. Feeding didn't go so well. He didn't want to eat, cried a lot and was basically miserable. I didn't know what to do. The nurses were telling me to just keep feeding him and the lactation ladies were telling me that he was doing great...apparently they missed the screaming fit earlier! So after a VERY emotional day, we decided to call it a night. I think I cried more that day than I had in a very long time!! My doctor actually let me stay in the hospital an extra night so we could be closer to him. Saturday was another day of hanging out in his NICU room. We had a different nurse who was much more helpful. They were all nice, but she really helped me understand more about the feedings, taught us a few things (how to take his temperature, use the bulb syringe etc). So that made us feel better. I got discharged around 3 or 4 and we went back to Patricks room to wait for the doctor. They didn't really know much more, still waiting for the 48 hour blood culture (although the 24 hour showed no growth). We headed home for the first time in 5 days without our new baby. It was sad, scary and not how I expected. We got some sleep and headed back up the hospital around 10. His CRP blood work showed the inflammation had gone down, so that was good. Still waiting on the culture. The doctor came in around noon and said he could go home. He said there was no way to tell whether the CRP was showing inflammation from the circ, from infection, from the bellybutton, who knows. They also didn't know if the antibiotics were what brought the numbers down or if they were just coming down on their own. So we watched a few movies on safety, RSV, car seats and shaken baby, gave him a bath, learned a few other things and by about 4 we were ready to go. We packed him up in his little car seat and headed out as a family. A very happy little family!! Finally home, all together....not sure what to do next!!!

It was a very scary few days. Not knowing what was happening or why. But we feel like we got excellent care. And we learned a lot. The additional learning has helped a ton since being home. We weren't scared to give him his first bath, weren't scared to change his diaper, get him dressed, anything. The NICU nurses showed us everything! So even though it was scary for us, being part time parents for a few days really helped us transition into being full time parents. And now, he's growing, eating like a champ and overall a happy baby!! I'm glad this is behind us, but I'm sure I have plenty of years to worry about the little guy!

Patrick Dean is here!

Patrick Dean was born on August 25th at 3:37pm via c-section....let's start from the beginning!! I woke up with contractions around 1am on Tuesday. I wasn't sure they were contractions or just stomach pains (i.e. they didn't hurt that much). But after waking up every half hour until 2:30 I realized this might be it. I couldn't sleep anyway so I got up and tried to read anything I could about what was happening. I hadn't had any other 'pre labor signs' up until now, so I didn't really believe it. But the pains kept coming about 20 minutes apart. As the night progressed they did get closer together. By 6am I decided I was waking Dean up to tell him that I was pretty sure this was it. I had started spotting and the contractions were closer together. He was excited and quickly got up. Not that there was any hurry, but we both showered and got ready just to be on the safe side. By about 9:30 they were 5 minutes apart and for the most part uncomfortable. I called the office and they told me to come in. We got there around 10:30 and after being checked was 5 cm dilated already (woohoo!!) They sent me straight to labor and delivery. They knew I wanted an epidural so they were ready and waiting since I was already so far along. They didn't waste any time. I had one nurse doing the IV's and one asking all the questions. This process took a few hours (labs, IV's, fluids etc). The epidural was fine. It didn't hurt and went quickly. The only small issue was the nurse anaesthetist did it with the doctor telling her what to do....a little scary for me! The doctor came in about 2 and checked again, I was barely to 6 and my contractions went from every 2-4 minutes to every 5-6 minutes. Not the direction we want to be going. So they started me on pitocin. With the medication, I couldn't feel the contractions (yay!) but apparently they weren't progressing like the wanted. Shortly after that we noticed the baby's heart rate (now being monitored from the inside) had dropped to about 50. We called the nurse and they all came flying in. I changed positions and it came back up but then proceeded to drop after every contraction. Not that low, but low enough to be concerned. At 3 the doctor came in and said he suggested a c-section. We could wait it out but with the heart rate issue he wouldn't. So I agreed and by 3:20 I was in the OR getting my stomach scrubbed. I couldn't feel anything except pushing and pulling. Which I'm not going to lie, it hurt. I was scared and crying. I didn't really get enough time to process everything and I was scared! All the talking and directions was scary and it sounded like they had a hard time getting him out. I kept hearing 'push harder'....not pleasant!! Until I finally heard that little cry. My sweet baby boy! They whisked him over to the cart to measure and weigh him. Dean took pictures and they brought him to me as soon as they were done. He was beautiful. They finished stapling me up (yeah, real metal staples....yuck!) and I was in recovery by 4. All in all it was a quick ride. I had to stay there for 2 hours. It went by quick and had just a few bumps in the road. The anaesthesia made me sick and throwing up with an incision across my belly was not fun. Especially on an empty stomach. But holding that little baby made everything better! We were moved to our room about 6....both in shock that we are finally parents!!! The best feeling in the world!!!

So the delivery went great. My baby boy was 8 pounds 12.6 oz., 20 inches long. His head was 14 cm which lead everyone to believe I would have needed a c-section anyway to get him out! He is a healthy little boy!! We were planning on going home on Friday....but nothing is ever easy! I'll update the rest of our stay later. Right now baby Patrick is just waking up!