Tuesday

I have no cute title or any cute thoughts today. I just want to be back in bed. I had the Hcg shot on Friday. I have had no side effects at all save a few cramps. But today I feel like I have all the emotional effects the sheet listed. I'm irritable, crabby, emotional, etc. I DO NOT want to be at work. I DO NOT want to have to deal with other people. It might be that I'm just tired. Even though I was in bed before 10 last night, I was up a lot. Dreaming about babies and BFP's and all that goes along with it. I haven't dreamt about that kind of stuff in a long time. But it seems to be all I think about these days. I really hope this is it because I don't know if I can think about all this much longer without my head exploding! And I read these other blogs of women who have been trying far longer than me, have had much more loss and heartache than I have and then I feel guilty. I should just wait my turn. They've been through so much, they deserve this too.
On a slightly happier note, the girl I work with that is out on maternity leave is supposed to bring her baby in today so we can all see her. I actually saw her in the hospital when she was born, but I want to see her again. I know it potentially could make me sad, but over all I'm very excited to see the little peanut! I hope she still brings her in. I'm sure a lot can happen in the course of a few days with a little baby!
And we're going to Illinois to visit a friend this weekend, so I'm willing this week to go FAST so we can have a super fun weekend together! And having something to look forward to that doesn't have to do with babies, blood tests or pee sticks is a good thing right now!!

Mothers day...bring it on!

So I just realized the nurse told me I could test 16 days from today...on Mothers day. How awesome would that be to find out the best news of my life on Mothers day! How can I not get my hopes up with thoughts like that??

YAY....Friday!

Well, Friday is finally here and the ultrasound and trigger shot are done! All that worrying for nothing. The shot didn't even hurt! Although the side effects might! The sheet the office gave said irritability, depression, fatigue, etc...I think this is a good reason to take the afternoon off!! I wish! I am figuring I didn't have any side effects from the Clomid, so I'm hoping I won't have any from this. But the trigger shot is pregnancy hormone, so I guess this will be a good indication of what I might be like in a few weeks! (hopefully!!). All this stuff wasn't hard, but it will get real expensive real quick. The shot alone was $43, the ultrasound will be a lot I'm sure. They bill the insurance and then I have to pay whatever they don't. Which they don't cover any of it! Oh well. I am hoping and praying this will be the one!
Anyway, the ultrasound wasn't as bad as I thought either. The wand was long, but not as thick as I expected. Dean thought he was going to pass out...another indication of times to come:-) But he did fine. The pictures didn't show us much, just a black fuzz, but the u/s tech saw 1 follicle on the right side that measured 21mm x 18mm which is a good size. She said she didn't see any on the left. So Dean now thinks he has to aim for the right...pretty funny. I'm so glad they found something , I was worried there would be nothing. So now we have our instructions and hope for the best!!!
The nurse said I can test in 16 days...holy cow that's a long time! I'm tempted to test now though just to see a positive test. Sick I know!
Ok, here's to baby making and patience!

More waiting

I feel all I do is wait and wonder...why? It's driving me crazy. I can't wait til Friday for the ultrasound. I can't wait to get this cycle going. And if it's this bad now, imagine the 2 week wait? I'll be a basket case I'm sure!
On another note, I just found out another girl I work with is going to be out Friday morning so now I'll be leaving the only other woman here alone for a few hours while I go have this test. I don't really want to tell them what I'm doing b/c I don't want to be asked every 5 minuets if I'm pregnant yet. That will make the time really drag on. So now I have to come up with a vague reason why I have to be gone. Which isn't easy around here...these nosey newts I work with are ALWAYS asking questions. I guess I'll just worry about that on Friday. And in all honesty, I don't really are what they think. I don't pass judgement when they are gone! I think I'm just worried about everything right now so that's included!
Other than that nothing new....just more waiting. I'll probably post again Friday after the procedure! Here's hoping it goes well!

A little update

It's obviously been a while since the last post. I sort of thought I'd have more to post about when I started this Clomid, but so far I have taken 4 pills, the last night is tonight and I haven't had any side effects. No headaches, moodiness, etc. so far anyway! Although I was on vacation at the beach, so that could have had something to do with it! Who can be in a bad mood laying in the 80* sun!! Not me! The trip was fabulous. I was there with my mom and her 2 sisters. I have 2 brothers, so I'm not too familiar with this type of relationship. But we all got along pretty well and had a nice time. I didn't want to come home!! Or go back to work on Monday!
This week will be busy after being gone. And I have to be gone Friday morning for my follicle check and trigger shot. My appointment is at 8:30 for the ultrasound and it sounds like quite the horse and pony show. I have to go do the outpatient testing area of the hospital because the tech in my office is out to have her own baby this week! So I go down there, they call the results up to my office (which is in the hospital) and they decide if they can give me the trigger shot that day. If everything is ok, they will call the prescription down to the pharmacy in the hospital, I will go pick it up and bring it back to the office and they will give me the shot. I assume then I'm on my way. I'm nervous about the procedure, I've never had a trans-vaginal ultrasound. I may or may not research this. I don't know if I need to know anymore details than the doctors office has given me. I don't need the extra information to stress about all week! And I'm not the biggest fan of shots. I haven't had one in years, so I don't really remember how painful it may or may not be. But I will be tough and hopefully we will only have to do this once! I'm just hoping the next 3 weeks go by quickly!! I have a feeling they will drag on! But I have a lot planned so that is good. In 2 weeks I am going to visit a friend with friends for the weekend. And the next week I'm going to Virginia for 3 days for work. When I get back I am hoping to be able to pee on a stick!! But I will probably know more on Friday as far as the timeline they will have me on!
Sorry this is so long and that I didn't update last week. But in my opinion, I'm glad I didn't have anything to report about! Hopefully the next post is just as easy as this one! Can't wait til FRIDAY!!

Just another day

Well here we are staring AF in the face. I'm waiting for her to come (not so patiently I might add) so that I can start Clomid and all the fun that comes with it. I'm very excited and hopeful for this medicated cycle. But these tiny thoughts are creeping in that maybe, just maybe I won't have to take any medication. Even though we were on a 'break' we could still be pregnant right? I need to stop those thoughts. They'll do nothing but torment me for the next few days! Last month she came 4 days early, so please just come and get it over with!
In other realms of my life things are good. Dean started working at the course. He's gone all the time now. I miss him, but this is how it goes in the spring. He'll be real busy til the middle of May and then it'll settle down again. I'm off to Marco Island with my mom and 2 aunts next week. I'm so looking forward to it. I will probably feel stressed before I go b/c of work, but it'll be so worth it to be sitting by the beach for 5 days! The only down side is that I'll be taking the clomid while I'm there so I'm hoping for minimal side effects. But the way I look at it I'd rather have the side effects down there rather than up here!
Anyway, that's the nutshell that is my life right now. Hopefully the next time I post will be all about the clomid!