Yay!

Deans boys can swim! Wahoo....I think:-) I didn't get any results from the doctors office so I decided I'd call. They didn't give me details, but they said everything looks good and no problems. The Dr. will go over all the results in March (which seems like a LONG ways off!) But at least we don't have to worry about doing that again! So now I guess the problem lies with me...hmmmm, not sure how I feel about that! Oh well, one hurdle down.

On another note, Dean came home last night from Atlanta! He got 86% on his test, which is good enough to move onto the next class, but not good enough to be a rules official at golf tournaments. Maybe next time! His flight was an hour and a half late and then his luggage wasn't there, so we didn't get home til close to 1am. Work is going to DRAG today! Oh well, I'm just thrilled he's home!!!

I'm Ready...

I'm ready for my husband to come home from his trip, ready for the SA results to be here, ready for all the pregnant people I know to stop being so whiney, ready for a lot of things! I know I should be enjoying my time alone, but I miss my husband. I know I should be happy for friends who are pregnant, but it's hard when they're always comlaining! It really can't be that bad, can it? I mean people do it over and over again...so it can't be that bad! Right?
Well...it's Tuesday...nothing more than that it seems! No news to report, no updates, nothing...just the Tuesday blues. Oh well...I'll snap out of it. Having dinner with a friend tonight and tomorrow night. That should be fun. At least it'll get me half way through the week! Maybe by Friday I'll some SA updates...

Single...for the weekend

Yep, that's right...I'm single til Wednesday night. Dean is off to Atlanta at a rules seminar for his job. Who knew the rules of golf changed that much that you'd need a 4 day class about it! He was excited to go, but nervous about the test at the end. He's a smart cookie, I know he'll do fine.
We did his SA this week but don't have the results back. I think both of us are a little anxious to see what that says. The office said they'd mail the results...hopefully that will be early next week! Not that we can do anything about it until our appointment on the 17th of March, but it'll be something concrete to look at. I think we are both on the same page finally so we're going to give this last cycle our best shot before IF treatments start!
I've been stressed about the whole situation and not really sure why. All of a sudden it hit me that the due date of the miscarried baby would have been last weekend. I didn't really think too much about it, but must have just known! But now that I have a reason, I can move on. I will be positive and I will look on the bright side of things this time around. And of course have my fingers crossed!!!

Bitter betty

How did I turn into this? Is it really the 12 months of trying to have a baby that has turned me into a bitter woman? It started yesterday really...our first IF step. I had to take the 'sample' in to be analyzed. I guess it just hit me in the car on the way back from the hospital...here we go. Not really sure where we're going yet or how we're going to get there. But this journey might prove to be a lot for me to emotionally handle! Thank gosh I have Dean to keep me sane! Like last night...we're talking about the SA and he says "you mean there's not 2 boxes to check, shooting blanks or shooting bullets?" So innocent and sweet! Can't help but love him! So no we wait for the results.

On another note, I just found out this week that my doctor who I've been seeing for years is leaving the practice at the end of February. The practice she's going to is not near my house or the hospital so after a lot of thinking about it, I've decided to start seeing someone else. If I don't like them, I can switch to her new practice. My 1st appointment is March 17th. So I'm anxiously awaiting that! I hope he keeps me on the same timeline as the previous doc!

Listen to the MUSTN'TS, child, Listen to the DONT'S Listen to the SHOULDN'TS The IMPOSSIBLES, the WON'TS Listen to the NEVER HAVES Then listen close to me- Anything can happen, child, ANYTHING can be. -Shel Silverstein

The Journey Begins

My first blog ever...yikes! Where to start. A little background...Dean and I met through a friend 5 years ago. We were married July 17th, 2004. We had talked about kids here and there, but hadn't decided on anything. After 2 great years together and a new house big enough to handle the pitter patter of little feet we decide maybe it's time. So I stop taking BCP's in Feb '07. Of course I think I'm pregnant right off the bat...who doesn't right? Three months later we see those 2 little lines....we're pregnant. That was easy right? Wrong.....6 weeks in and we miscarry. I'm devastated. Needless to say, here we are, 9 months later with no little one and staring down the barrel of infertility. And so begins the blog...I hope to use this as an outlet for all the feelings that go along with this...love, happiness, fear, and anger among others.