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This is Suzanne, Amanda's friend, writing on her behalf.
Amanda suffered a stroke late last week. She passed away on April 24, 2010.
There was a beautiful article written in the local paper. You can find it here.
Amanda's closest friends and I know that some of you are loyal followers and know that she posts pretty regularly. We knew that you would want to know what happened and help in any way you could.
You can go here and read her life story. Along with her life story, you will find a memory page, guest book, and contributions page. There you will find how to contribute to Patrick's future education fund.
Thank you for following Amanda's road to motherhood. I know that she found some comfort in sharing in others' long & difficult journeys.
Please pray for Amanda's family in the coming weeks & months.

There's a lot going on...

The last few weeks have been a bit of a blur....so here's the story in a nutshell.

I have been having some digestive issues since December.  I finally decided to get it checked out since it wasn't getting better or going away. After an appointment with my internist and a referral to a GI doc I finally had a colonoscopy (YUCK!!) and it was determined I have crohn's disease.  Not too happy with this diagnosis although it could be worse.  So they put me on some medication and told me to come back in 30 days. Apparently this is a common protocol for this issue, but it seems odd to me to put someone on medication and not see them for 30 days.  Anyway, I get the drugs and read through the paperwork from the pharmacy.  One says absolutely do not breastfeed while taking this medication and the other says there have been no tests done so probably not a good idea to BF while taking this med.  So I call the GI doc and the nurse tells me that there are no other options and I have to make the decision to either quit breastfeeding or not take the meds.  But that I need the meds if I want to get better.  So I call my internist.  Get the same info.  Call my brother who's 2 months away from being an MD.  Get the same info.  So after several days of serious discussions with my husband and some soul searching, we have decided that our time with breastfeeding is over.  I can't put this off any longer. I need to start feeling better so I can be a better mom.  So this week we are working on weaning to formula.  Patrick already gets a bottle of pumped milk and apparently that is half the battle.  So for right now we're only nursing once a day and he's getting 3/4 bm to 1/4 formula for every other bottle.  I'm still pumping in the morning and night but have cut out 2 feedings.  I figure in another day or so I will quit the nursing session and then slowly cut out the pumping.  I may be uncomfortable for a day or so, but I hope to be completely done this weekend so I can start my treatment.  It sounds like a horrible treatment but at least it's only for 30 days.  And from what I read I should start to feel better in 3-5 days.

This has been a very rough transition for me.  I didn't think I cared that much about breastfeeding.  I just did it because that's what I thought I was supposed to do.  I didn't have an aversion to formula feeding or a love for breastfeeding.  But I have come to enjoy bf-ing and like that time with my baby.  There have been a lot of tears over the last few weeks, but I have to keep reminding myself that I'm doing the right thing.  I need to take care of myself if I want to take care of my baby.  I think my biggest battle is other people.  Everyone seems to think I'm being silly about all this.  That it's not that big of deal.  While I understand that many babies are formula fed, that is not my issue.  I am not worried he will be malnurished or not get what he needs.  I just know I will miss the time I have with him.  And of course with all our previous issues getting pregnant I think about our future children.  Will we have any?  Maybe I won't be able to BF for some other reason.  I can't imagine there is that much time to devote to it with another little one running around.  So essentially I'm just not ready to give this up just yet. But I'm sure in a week or two it will all be second nature and we'll be all back to normal.  One can hope:-)